5-063

I’m about to smother myself in syrup

Please read and share this, give the gift of my newsletter this Christmas

Dec 5 • Raven Smith

20

November 2025

The kale and the conscious uncoupling

Hello, I’m minutes away from spending a month’s childcare budget on shoes that the baby won’t be able to see unless they’re on a high contrast…

Nov 14 • Raven Smith

33

1

October 2025

Ruched foreskin loafers

Need I say more?

Oct 31 • Raven Smith

12

3

1

A most judicious choice, sire

I haven’t written here since I had a baby, but I refuse to pivot to baby blogging

Oct 20 • Raven Smith

15

1

June 2025

Inching my dial back to Fergalicious

I need to go to the beach with the soft flesh of my buttocks gently encased in white cotton like and the greaseproof spag in a bag from Ciao Bella.

Jun 13 • Raven Smith

16

Mayonnaise right across the sockets

What if I don’t add any subscribe buttons?

Jun 4 • Raven Smith

29

May 2025

A sense of inherited wealth while I piss

an enticing susbcribe box caption goes here

May 16 • Raven Smith

14

2

April 2025

The primal scream of his thighs groaning against the seams of his unlong trousers

Do I have a personality or do I just have a lot of teeth?

Apr 29 • Raven Smith

22

2

A provicial shopkeeper about to drug you so the townspeople can lock you in a wicker man

I was on the tube with that guy smoking crack and it was fine.go on

Apr 10 • Raven Smith

26

5

6

Madonna’s son in dick-print joggers and a billy goat stole.

Do you ever feel like you’re fighting a battle against your chosen lifestyle?

Apr 3 • Raven Smith

28

2

March 2025

Recessive PE teacher gene

I literally don’t know what to write here

Mar 14 • Raven Smith

15

2

February 2025

Geezers need excitement

I will not know peace until I own a knotted papaya papoose.

Feb 28 • Raven Smith

28

2