5-063

A Pillion sequel set at the Vatican?

I didn’t add like and subscribe buttons here—just enjoy the smoothing reading without the begging.

Apr 17 • Raven Smith

20

2

2

Sturdy, stinky, somehow sexy

Hello, it’s been a while for absolutely no reason.

Apr 1 • Raven Smith

20

3

2

February 2026

Neglectmaxxing my body

I have been neglectmaxxing my body this week, lamenting on the sofa like a Victorian swoon, re-watching re-runs, micro-dosing my way through severe…

Feb 20 • Raven Smith

52

1

8

January 2026

Become a burly, bearded Manhattan lumberjack with giant hands and thick thighs

Your mum doing an embarrassing dance at your wedding is kinda what mums are for.

Jan 23 • Raven Smith

28

3

1

His arse is a cheese plant that needs repotting.

This week I am hyperware of my diaphragm, next week who knows?

Jan 15 • Raven Smith

23

What if you made dinner look like sperm under a microscope?

Quick one this week because I have my baby dribbling onto the keyboard.Thanks for reading 5-063!

Jan 6 • Raven Smith

17

1

December 2025

I’m about to smother myself in syrup

Please read and share this, give the gift of my newsletter this Christmas

Dec 5, 2025 • Raven Smith

23

November 2025

The kale and the conscious uncoupling

Hello, I’m minutes away from spending a month’s childcare budget on shoes that the baby won’t be able to see unless they’re on a high contrast…

Nov 14, 2025 • Raven Smith

38

1

October 2025

Ruched foreskin loafers

Need I say more?

Oct 31, 2025 • Raven Smith

15

3

1

A most judicious choice, sire

I haven’t written here since I had a baby, but I refuse to pivot to baby blogging

Oct 20, 2025 • Raven Smith

17

1

June 2025

Inching my dial back to Fergalicious

I need to go to the beach with the soft flesh of my buttocks gently encased in white cotton like and the greaseproof spag in a bag from Ciao Bella.

Jun 13, 2025 • Raven Smith

16

Mayonnaise right across the sockets

What if I don’t add any subscribe buttons?

Jun 4, 2025 • Raven Smith

30