Danny Zuko in Agrabah

I’m still deciding if I’m gonna write an intro to the newsletter every week, or jump straight to the things I like. Today, I have opted for the latter.

Fornasetti bin

A truly resplendent place for used spot dots, the receipts from power lunches, and napkins with the numbers of men who want to be inside you.

Believe me when I say this Fornasetti casa bin is not available anywhere online, it’s more of a museum artefact like Tutankhamen’s funerary mask.

Annoyingly, falling head over heels for something doesn’t always result in acquiring it—think of Romeo and Juliet. Rarity is crack, and one day, years from now, this bin will be under my sink, full of Dr Strum boxes while I’m out to lunch.

Gala Colivet Dennison ring

I always long for forever-jewellery that I can wear all the time rather than occasionally (brooches don’t count). This ring with a nubbin, nestled like a stack of syrupy pancakes next to my wedding ring, just feels right. Imagine it glistening on the light as you aloofly and confidently give Marble Arch directions to lost tourists. Imagine using the little ball to massage a stye. Gala does the best rings in the biz, and is also very friendly and cordial, even as I repeatedly ask her for pricing, and then say I can’t afford it.

Hereu loafer

What if Danny Zuko became an Uber driver in Agrabah? He smells too moist and his teeth look like they taste of tea, but his shoes are fucking fab. Women’s shoe sizes don’t fit my clown feet (feels homophobic), so buy these and dance past my window taunting me.

Jean Paul Gaultier tie

I spent so long haggling the price on this vintage Jean Paul Gaultier tie, the Japanese eBay seller just sold it to someone else. I have to live with that regret every day. Something about the gold sunrise reminds me of when Marty McFly goes to the future (2015) and the business men all wear two geometric ties before getting fired via fax. I do worry that a notable tie is a bit too goofy, too pastel Topman suit at a wedding, too jaunty-sock Geography teacher. I can’t test the theory because I didn’t win the tie.

Hereditary t-shirt

I just want to turn up to Thanksgiving with the headless click girl on my tits.

That’s it for this week.

If you have notes or any feedback that challenges me while still stroking my ego, I’m open.